How NOT to Treat Your Baby

Posted by E.J. Volkmar on June 01, 2015

If this is the first of your babies it may be helpful if you are aware of what you should never do to your baby. If you already have a child and are expecting another one, you might want to see what you think about these ideas.
Don’t let them cry. When your baby cries, they either need something or they are in pain. If you leave your baby to cry, not only will he experience immediate stress, but there is research to indicate that doing this may lead to problems for them when they are a teen or as an adult. Some researchers call this not responding to their crying as “undercare,” and they say it will lead to a self-centered, inflexible adult.

Don’t ignore him. If your baby is born under natural birth conditions, they are ready to communicate with their parents and others as soon as they are born. Now, of course they can’t talk, but there are plenty of other ways of communicating.  One researcher, Grazyna Kochanska (2002), has a program called "mutually-responsive orientation."  This means that the child and parent influence each other as they build they build a cooperative relationship. They suggest that this type of relationship is optimal in that it provides for the best emotional and intellectual development of your child.

Don’t not hold them whenever possible (please hold them). According to Kabat-Zinn (1991), your child needs to be held in loving arms often. It is through being held in a relaxing manner that your baby will learn to relax and have a sense of peace. You must start immediately after giving birth; after all babies are meant to be held. Their first impression of the world needs to be one of a peaceful mother holding them in a relaxed position in their arms. Researchers say that when a baby is not in the arms of someone their pain responses are activated. When these are activated,it causes release of hormones into their system that may dysregulate multiple systems.
Don’t leave them alone. Babies are by nature physically connected to their caregiver. They become confused by being left alone and sense something is wrong. Some will argue that leaving a baby alone will foster independence. In reality, if you isolate a baby they will become needy and whiney.